playing tapes in my head (1 of many)

My Mistress Melancholy 

Been in search of a muse, yet i found her,
So close not so far, not so far from my window.
My my my! I would never lie, for now I have found Her.
Hidden deep within my life, thought Her dead to till this evening.

I had Her buried alive ,or so I thought,
only to find out later, that i had never.
A mistress oh so gloom, a smile so shy ,
yet so deadly in her gaze, could bleed You soul dry.
A face so pale, eyes filled with tears,
I never heard of the day She did fear.

I had Her by the hand , as ever I had feared,
 my close companion, yet never my closest.
I couldn't believe that I never did hear Her,
Yet all this while, in my ear She did whisper.

Dressed in white, my clad oh so black,
It looked more like an old movie picture.
No sound track but the wind, slowly as it howled ,
the trees bent over, as though they were crying.

Laid by the banks of the Styx,as I bid the ferry man away,
In my heart I did wish that she was in there with him.
She did lay by my side, holding me oh so tightly,
 my senses were too numb ,that I did ignored it.
Never felt her touch, though I took heed to Her presence.

Lost now as it seems, I'll help me find myself.
For one last time, believing in reality,
 you close Your mind to to possibilities.
Her words still vivid in my ears,
 every night I see her, when I become a dreamer.

This now, I dedicate to my Dearest,
 Never You be jealous , thank God You'll never be her.
The mistress You replaced, was never the sweeter,
 my muse to this night ,yet You'll never see her.